X-Men Apocalypse

X-Men_-_ApocalypseCan Marvel please have the rights back to X-Men or can Fox just re-boot the re-boot? Seriously, salt the earth already. This movie was somehow better than X-Men 3, despite X-3 being a more X-Men like thing. This movie, however, is still better than X-Men Origins: Wolverine though.

Coming off of X-Men: Day’s of Future Past and the phenomenal Deadpool movie, X-Men Apocalypse does the typical X-Men thing. Let’s throw characters in for no reason and never expand on who they are other than showing them being all flashy!

Everything was kind of a mess, scenes went on for too long, some could have been skipped, the story told was terrible, the use of the horseman was terrible for every single one, and some characters were just kind of there.

Psylocke was really only Psylocke in body only… which you know, is funny because in the comics that isn’t even her body. Angel, who never was called Archangel in this movie, seemed nothing like his comic book or previous movie incarnations. These two are largely known as being romantic, but that wasn’t played with at all. They were wasted, and likely only used so they trailer would be awesome.

Storm constantly played second fiddle to Magneto. She threw lightning and flew, but that was about it. She is one of the most powerful characters in the universe when let loose, but there was nothing done with her hurricane winds, tidal waves, or blizzards. She literally can send us back to the ice age if her powers were fully unlocked, but where was that? Where is her claustrophobia?

The only one of the four horsemen that actually made sense and was fleshed out was Magneto, and I could have personally done without it. The script fell into old tropes that would make Anita Sarkeesian cringe when it came to his motivations.

I could go on about how Jubilee was barely in the movie, or how things were made too convenient for setting up future movies, or how everytime I saw something from the trailers I was constantly underwhelmed, but no. Let’s shut this down right now. Bryan Singer just doesn’t get X-Men anymore, or at the very least can’t make a large cataclysmic superhero movie like this.

Apocalypse_XMEThe 1990’s cartoon, Wolverine and The X-Men, and X-Men Evolution did everything this movie attempted much better and your money would be better spent buying episodes from one of those on VUDU.

X-Men: Apocalypse does not get a failing grade or even a D. It’s a solid C, and that’s the best I can give this franchise that might need to start over from scratch with a smaller budget.


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